Love Is Like A Mikan
by biancanica
Summary: Natsume and Mikan starts the conclusion whether "Do I love Mikan" or not! Could THEY answer this question? -pairings: NxRxM HxR-
1. PROLOGUE

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**PROLOGUE**

Where's the point of love when you needed it the most? If you really have found your treasure, where will you hid it where nobody could even touch it or steal it away from you? There are many things in our head, many happenings that is stuck in our mind that made us leave into many conclusions inside our heart and especially inside our head that keep us on asking it again all over and over. We know wonders are impossible to bend in to reality and drove into happiness. Except if it is bound to happen. Whether you have to suicide for the ones' you love or not, you have to do everything to have them, right? As all we go on through to it, as the conclusion will pop up. We could always pop them out. And look for the way to go on to the right path. Seeing the sights of the wonders, learning everything we have to, till we find the answer to the wonders in our lives.

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	2. Chapter 1 : Is it Love?

As always. I never thought that this day would have come. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of that dream I've been suffering. I never knew that maybe, should I call it dream or nightmare? But I think it's better if I look and find out for myself.

For the past few days, I've been… dramatically dreaming about Mikan always! Now that we're 14 years old, I don't know if I should be happy seeing the love of my life being with my treasured childhood friend of mine that is special to me too. I want to see my best friend happy being with her, but at the same time it brings me both happiness and pain. I've been asking myself all over everytime I go to sleep "Do I love Mikan?" and all over again.

I guess the real conclusion to me is "What is Mikan to me?" or maybe "What is 'LOVE'?". Mostly people would say "Love is Blind" but I don't know whether I'll believe them or not. But do I have to find out this conclusion is? This thing on my head is been bothering me… and I don't know why.

While this conclusion was around my head, a brunette girl knock into my door and step in. And her name was Mikan Sakura.

"Hey Natsume, why are you still awake in the middle of the night?" Mikan asked

"And why are you here?" I replied angrily. But that anger wasn't so true…

I've been lying to everyone, to her and to myself. Especially when showing my true self behind them. I've been good at it but I don't know when will this get over with.

"Me? It's just because I'm worried at you! I've been seeing in your eyes that you're having lack of sleep!" she replied to me, obviously worried so much

"Oh sure, what do you want now?"

"I just want to be sure you sleep!"

"I could sleep by myself, idiot."

As always, after all of those years, I still call her "idiot", "polka dotted panties" and "strawberry panties". I don't know why everytime I say this things and she gets angry, I feel happy same time annoyed at myself. I've been always like this.

"Stop calling me idiot! After all those years you're still calling me idiot!" she blustery replied to that hurtful tease

"Sorry…"

"If you can't sleep, just tell me okay?"

"Why?"

"I'll sleep with you!"

"What the hell are you thinking? Sleeping with me? Are you okay?"

"I'm trying my best to help Natsume! So just don't ask me if you don't want to sleep with me… and you're the one who called me idiot…"

"Okay fine, you can sleep with me today…"

"Eh?"

"What? I asked you to sleep with me and all you do now is say 'eh?'" "_and who's the idiot now?" _I've thought

"Wait, I'll just get some pillows" she hesitated

While she was hurrying to get her pillows, here am I as always, lying here in the bed. I have been flushed tomato red and I was actuall nervous while talking to her. "Why?" I was wondering. I was thinking of her all the time while talking to her and now…

"I'm ready Natsume!"

"What do you mean 'ready'?"

"Ready to SLEEP. Pervert!"

"Whatever… Just don't snore okay…"

" _*pif*_ I DON'T SNORE!"

She gently step inside and went to my bedroom. Then she start putting her pillows on my bed and start fixing it. I want to invite her now in the bedroom, but she might think again that I want to do something bad to her.

"Are you okay Natsume?" she asked

"I'm fine, just go to sleep…" I replied

"Okay…"

As she lay down in the bed beside me. It was in my head that _"What should I do?" _I feel afraid that she might think bad if I make a move at her. I'm starting to 'want' her always. There always beside me to comfort me and to make me smile. To remove this curse of darkness inside and puring my heart. The anger and sadness, with her happiness and loving personality.

"Natsume?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to ask you something…"

"What is it?"

"Please don't be angry ok?"

"… It depends"

"Are you angry at me? Because you always tease me and call me names… And it's annoying me all over."

"Is that all?"

She breath deeply and replied "Yes…"

"Okay…"

"So what's your answer?"

"Maybe, I just like to tease people that's all…I guess?"

"What do you mean by 'I guess?' eh?" she angrily asked

"Nothing… Just go to sleep"

"F-fine!"

After that conversation, I stop asking or talking at her for a while since it's already 11:30pm. And since I want her to be fine too and listen to the teacher always, I've decided to pipe down and close my eyes. Hence, that so called 'dream' inside me was again starting. It was about me and Mikan up in the tree. She was laughing and I was smiling. Then she asked me a few things but all I've remembered in my head was…

"Do you love me Natsume-kun?" she happily asked

"Of course I do!"

"Really? I love you too!"

"I know…" I smiled and so happy that I could hear those kind of words from her. I feel like I was in heaven and everything around me was blooming and it's like 'cheering' for me, congratulating me for the wonderous happening.

But somebody stopped my 'dream'. I felt that somebody was wrapping my body as if I was like a pillow or a teddy bear. It was getting tighter and tighter until it made me curious as I woke up and look behind me. It was Mikan that was hugging me. And I didn't noticed that it was morning already.

"Morning already?" I whispered. Since Mikan was dreaming and sleeping.

I stare at her smile. I guess she was dreaming something that made her happy or something? Or maybe it's just her and Ruka or Hotaru playing together. Or maybe with Yuu and the others having a wonderful time. I felt so jealous to all of them. I started to touch her ponytails and curl it up while she's hugging me so tight. But after so, I fell asleep again. Facing her, body to body. But I don't care!

"Na-na-na-na-natsume!"

"What?! I'm sleeping…"

"Wh- WAKE UP!" she whispered

I woke up and I saw her face, flushed…tomato red and her hands was below her chin and it's closed. While I was hugging her, tightly…

"What do you want?! It's morning, I don't care…" I stood up on the bed like nothing happened

"Oh Natsume!" she angrily replied as she punched my back

"Wh- IT HURTS!"

"Well that's what you'll get after hugging me!"

"To be honest, you're the one who first hugged me!"

"Th- I didn't!"

"You did… So just stop denying it and go dress!"

"Wh-WHATEVER! … PERVERT!"

As she went to the bathroom and closed the door with a slam. As for me, I lied down again at the bed and whispered to myself…

"Best night I've every had!"

_**----------------to be continued**_


	3. Chapter 2 : All This Ruckus

**!Author's Space!**

I want to have this space for a while and want to thanks for the people who is reading this, if you like it please favorite it or add it in your alerts or something. Especially to **animechi12 **, **xAvenging Angelx** and **Yoyo-chan**!

Thank you for the wonderful review and I'll try to keep this story up as soon as possible!

This time, it's Mikan's turn to take over the story…

It's been an hour since that thing happened between me and Natsume. I guess, it's been always weird when I'm beside him. I feel confused and I start panicking without any reason I know inside me. I start questioning myself, "What is Natsume for me?". But I don't have any interest on finding it out for myself, I want to ask it to a person that is close to me and that could understand this sensation.

"Hey Hotaru…"

"What?" she replied

Hotaru was my bestfriend since we we're still living at that small town and Hotaru moves to a school for geniuses in Tokyo. Since I miss her so much, I went to travel to Tokyo myself to find Hotaru!

"I want to ask you seriously…"

"It's been the first time you talk like this."

"Seriously!"

"Okay, what is it?"

I was having a hard time thinking of what I'll ask to my dearest bestfriend, Hotaru. It's the first time I ask something like this and I never ask anything so… seriously? I never thought that this day would come that I'll go near her for an advice.

"What is this feeling inside me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know… Everytime I see Natsume, it's like I'm so confused and getting 'gaga' all over?" I explained

"Maybe…"

"MAYBE?!"

"You're inlove with him"

"I'm not playing jokes around here Hotaru! I'm asking you seriously!" I angrily replied at her answer to my conclusion

"And I'm not playing jokes arounde here too! I've answered your question seriously either…" she replied

"Ah—" I've stopped replying at her and have been silence for a long time. I've thought about it so many times all over and over and over. 'Love'? what's that? Who is that? Is it a person or a thing? Such a stupid conclusion just popped inside me. But I've been wondering the most, same painful, seeing him like that in the darkness while I'm here at the light, shining and just giving smiles to everyone and he's there, all alone.

"Hey Mikan!" a blonde haired guy greeted me named Ruka Nogi

"Hello Ruka~ What's up? Have you seen Natsume?" I asked

"No, he said he want to skip classes and want me to stay here and leave him alone." He answered

"Oh I see, should we go look for him?"

"Do you really care for him that much, Mikan?" he asked with a tone of voice that is like 'angry'

"Ruka-pyon?"

"I've been hating all of this time that you're always asking for him."

". . ." I didn't replied because I was so scared at the same time curious at what he'll going to say next

"And I don't want to waste my time even bothering about it. So just tell me now, do you love Natsume?" as he trapped me and I couldn't even move an inch

"I- …"

"What?" he angrily replied

"I don't know…"

". . ."

"But everytime I've been looking or going near him, I'm starting to get confused and…"

"STOP!" he stopped me from continuing

". . ."

"STOP IT! I don't want to hear about him that is from your own words, Mikan!"

"But I just—"

"I SAID STOP! I love you from the start that I have met you, and now what do you do? You're just, being with the person that is special to me too… I don't want to see a scene like that. But …"

"But what?"

"If you're happy with Natsume, I wouldn't give up." He continued

". . ."

He left the room slamming the door, while I fell into the floor crying. Desperate for a comfort. Don't know what to do, confused, and most of all hurted. I can't decide like this especially after what Ruka said. I don't want to hurt them both, and I don't especially want to hurt Natsume. That was the first time I felt my real sadness. The worst day I've ever had. It's like a nightmare but only darker and dense. The surrounding was full of fog, I couldn't see anything except my own shadow. Scary sounds coming from nowhere and I was there, sitting alone. It was the first time I thought that, 'I don't give happiness, I give terror and sadness!'.

After all those times, I just walk to my room and lay down in the bed while writing in my Diary.

"_Dear Diary,_

_I'm confused, I don't know what to do! I'm alone. If only I could have the courage…"_

I didn't continue writing it. Tears start dropping from my eyes. I start panicking, my heart was pounding so fast and it's like it will pump out. But that stopped after somebody knocked at the door.

"Mikan?"

"Oh, Hi Hotaru!" I start wiping out my tears

"Why are you crying you idiot?"

"No-nothing! Never mind me! I just miss grandpa that's all!!" I excused, obviously, I lied.

"_Baka_, Tell me the reason! That's why I'm here Mikan…"

"Hotaru…" I was touched and flattered, so I feel relaxed now. She comfort me as I try saying the reason I'm crying.

"It's about Ruka, he said that he wouldn't…"

"wouldn't what? –"

"He wouldn't give up on me because he know that I 'love' Natsume"

". . ."

"Why Hotaru?"

"Maybe it's just a misunderstanding, don't worry! I know you two will be fine so stop crying."

After she said that line, I felt weird same time curious. I feel like she's hiding something that made me felt more curious about it. As she left on my room, wave goodbye and goodnight.

"Why do I feel like, she's 'lying'?"

As I just lay down at my bed and try thinking what should I do for Ruka to understand about my problem. But I saw him and Natsume outside the window of my room in a tree. They seem like talking, so I used the gift from Hotaru. A 'Bat Earmuffs' that could hear any conversation that's impossible to hear.

"Hey Natsume"

"Hmm?"

"Do you love Mikan?"

"What kind of question is th--?!"

"Stop playing dumb Natsume, I want the answer now…"

"--Yes, I do…"

"And you still hiding the truth from her."

"I guess I do." Natsume sighed

"But you know, I want to warn you." Ruka replied

"Hmm?"

"You should get the move or else somebody will start stealing everything that's precious from you!"

"You mean?"

"Yes, I do 'mean'!"

". . ."

"Heh…" Ruka evil laughed

"Okay, if that's what you really want…"

I stopped for a while, and I can't believe it, because of me this kind of ruckus between them because of me. I just ignored them but can't stop my curiosity of what will happen next.

I guess life is mystery?


End file.
